The Jewell of Pkv Denial

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Here’s a question for all you deep thinkers. Can a fairytale really have a happy ending?

 

Imagine the classics today; Cinderella could never marry the prince, the problem of female binge drinking coupled with a march towards a 24 hour boozing culture simply wouldn’t allow her to leave the ball by midnight. Sleeping Beauty would be Pkv literally a 50/1 shot to get a decent kip with all the ASBO ridden teenagers roaming the streets, and if Jack is gullible enough to swap a cow for a handful of magic beans, he’d be well advised to steer clear of the betting exchanges.

 

I ask this question because Wigan’s charge to the Cup final is nothing short of a modern day fairytale, but like the examples above, a happy ending is highly unlikely. I would love to see Wigan win it, I’ve always been a fan of the underdog, although the wife usually needs convincing. The head must always rule the heart when punting though; Man U demolished Wigan 4-0 in the league, a reversal is unlikely. Get on United at 8/13 to win the match in 90 minutes.

 

Van Nistelrooy had the cheek to berate Harry Kewell for going down easily last week; he’ll be having a pop at Celine Dion next for having a long face. Van the man is a worthy favourite at 7/2 to open the scoring in the Cardiff showpiece; he’s 9/2 to bag a pair.

 

Gary Neville’s had a bad week, he’s been fined £5,000 by the FA for doing the Haka in front of devastated Liverpool supporters, and news has just broke that the police are struggling to find the identity of the burger throwing scally, although they’ve safely ruled out Wayne Rooney. It’s 12 games without a goal for Roon the loon, the big lad’s due, he’s available at 5/4 to score at any time.

 

Whatever the outcome on Sunday evening, Wigan’s charge to Cardiff has brought a little romance back to the Cup, and win or lose, the great sport of football will be the winner. Or to be more factual, football and Man Utd will be the winners, Wigan will lose heavily. A 3-0 win for United is available at 10/1, give it some thought.

 

Back to the Premiership, before the Barcelona match, Jose Mourinho compared the Chelsea pitch to an ugly scientist. I took offence to that, my wife looks a lot like Stephen Hawking. However, I’m not one to hold a grudge, especially as Jose’s boys will make me a few quid this weekend. Pompey have played Chelsea five times in the Premiership, the Champions have won either 2-0 or 3-0 every time. At 11/4 for either outcome to occur, my valueometer has just exploded.

 

Newcastle are like a new team since Graeme Souness left, unfortunately, still not a very good one. The stats show a dramatic improvement for the Toon since Souey was chopped, but there’s a question mark over the Villa and Southampton wins. Everton are the visitors to St James’ Park and their recent form is sensational; not for the first time, I’m playing away from home. Tuck in to the Toffees at 2/1.

 

Liverpool should be backed at 1/2 to see off Man City; as soon as Psycho handed Robbie Fowler to the Reds on a silver plate, sod’s law demanded that he’d break his goal scoring duck against the team that gave him away. By the way, don’t pass this on to Steve McClaren; he’ll probably bid £3 million for the duck.

 

How quickly things change. On a cold day two weeks ago, McClaren was an awful manager who couldn’t be trusted in the transfer market and a relegation battle was on the cards. Today, it’s a little bit warmer. Luckily for Boro, Albion are in an even worse state, McClaren’s men are the call at 7/4.

 

 

 

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